Expecting What You Want

Well, I know that I had promised to write as I go through the journey but I think you can guess why I haven't;

        I have been busy making it !! As I said I will show you how you can get through the journey with absolutely nothing. In the past few months I have managed to get a student loan, get help from my parents, move to Vancouver, find a place, start a school and here I am now, what I had in mind 2 years ago but afraid to do it because I didn't think I could!
       Of course, as you may expect it hasn't been that short and easy the whole journey...

As I arrived in Vancouver I felt so happy and I could not believe I was here, but there was this fear, fear of everything going wrong. I had shipped my stuff and car and was waiting for them to arrive. I kept thinking what would be the worst case scenario and what would be the bad thing happening here. What do you think happened?

         My belongings arrived 2 weeks later than I wanted, cost a lot more than I thought, I had to spend so much money to fix my car after it arrived, etc.. I can't tell you how many times I burst into tears as I heard the bad news about one of the things along my process of settling here in my " dream city". As all these were happening, I hated my apartment, my car was not working, felt alone and scared..

So I started to realize; I have been nothing but an ungrateful spoiled brat since I've arrived. I was expecting perfection in my journey and I was mad at everything and everyone, and the enormous amount of fear deep inside was expecting the worst. In another word, I wanted the perfect condition, but I was expecting the worst!

      As I passed the obsticles of the new city and slowly got used to the imperfections in my plans, I started to feel more and more relaxed and the fear started to go away. And sure enough things started to get calmer and better as I felt better  I did realize how much I was living in the past and in fear ,and trying to hold on to what I had in Toronto

... I was walking by the beach, which I have to say by the way( I can't believe I still haven't mentioned anything about this yet,it needs a whole another topic) this city is one of the most beautiful cities I've ever been to, anyways suddenly I felt; why haven't I been able to enjoy this spectacular view, and that was when I realized I'm not here, I've been living in the past, I'm not present, I've been living in fear of losing the past. So in that moment I started to let go of the past, Toronto, the people I left behind there, and the things I left behind or missed. I started to see the ocean, the mountains and suddenly felt; wow I live in Vancouver, I live here, I'm happy.

       That was the beginning of my "living" here I think. As I left the beach I could feel the shift in me. I had gotten a job with great pay, but I was just not feeling lucky. I went to work the next day, started to search online at work for a new place since I hated the place I lived at. Far from the beach and good areas and noisy.

     I don't know if I have mentioned before but I just always wanted to live by the beach. As I opened the website to look for adds, my coworker saw it and said if you are looking for a place my roommate is moving out! We started talking and I realized how much we have in common, we talked and talked and had such good time. So I moved to my new place, guess where? by the beach! With full length windows that I had written in my notebook that I wanted. I still can not believe how easy I got these things.

After I moved in I realized, what you expect from the universe you will get. If you expect problems, challenges I should say, you will get it. And when you expect a house by the beach with full windows, as long as you don't want it with negative energy, universe will give it to you as fast as you can write it on a paper.

Did I mention the day that I worked with my coworker was not my regular shift and I never worked with her again? universe does work in amazing ways.

I haven't said anything about my challenges right now yet, which I will on another night, but this had showed me, I just need to expect what I want with no negative energy, and it will be mine :)

A thought for tonight! Just write it down, see what happens :)

Have a good night.

Nov 09, 2010