Serendipity

Beautifully harmonized circumstance which brings you to a perfectly whole moment that makes you finally feel there is a higher power who has designed everything for you to come to this moment. I have had those moments quite a few times in my life so far, and when you are in that moment you do feel that you are being served by the universe and all you need to do is let go and open your hands receive it. I always felt that when you see signs and when you feel that you have to go to that certain direction, you have to try to make it happen now. if I see a sign which tells me I have to move somewhere, I need to try to make that happen. Think about it night and day and see how I can find a way. And I have finally realized I have been wrong;

The more I push and the more I am dedicated to those signs and try to use those guides to make it happen, the further I am from that destination. 

I thought maybe if you are pushing to go towards the signs, and what universe is telling you to do, then it is ok. It's ok to push to go where you are suppose to go. And to my no surprise I realized the other day that I was wrong and why this has not been working for me. No matter what the goal is and what the direction is and if it is in alignment with the universe's plan for you or not, pushing towards a certain out come does not work. Not only doesn't get you anywhere and you hit the wall over and over, but keeps you from seeing the directions that universe is giving you along the way. So what am I suppose to do when I see signs? What am I being told here?

I was being told about this over and over by more advanced spiritual seekers but I always argued and never understood until I watched the movie Serendipity. I know on first glance just looks like a cliche romantic comedy movie, but it is not. Sometimes you get your A-ha moments at most random times and with most random tools. So this made the whole blueprint of signs clear for me. 

Serendipity is about two people that cross path randomly and decide to follow the signs to see if they are meant to be with each other. But the thing is; The more they try to follow the signs and find each other again, the further they get from each other, one wall after another. And it is only at times of total surrender and giving up that they get directed by universe towards each other. I finally understood what others were trying to tell me. He flew across country to find her, only that he didn't know she was in his town looking for him. He looked for her book all over the city to find her phone number, only that it was given to him by his own fiancé at the time of total surrender. Now I am not saying this mean you need to give up. But be there and observe what is happening. Go with your feelings instead of pushing for something to happen. They both believed in signs, but they didn't know how to use them. And once they realized what they didn't want, and started focusing on the present moment and the relationships they did not want to be in, they were ready to receive it from the universe. As you see by the end of the movie, the most skeptic friend of the girl tells her; "No, don't try to find him, you just need to be here, I can feel it in the air, just be here" And the clue from the universe comes out of her mouth without her even knowing when she says; " Put on a jacket, it's freezing out here." And sure enough that leads her to him, sitting in the middle of the ice ring, completely open to what universe brings him, and still holding on to the one cashmere glove he has of her... 

So, I finally realized; Have faith in the universe and its fate. Look around and see the signs, but try not to fly across country to make it happen, hold on to the glove and wait for him to walk towards you, by just being there. Signs are there to make you alert about the now. They are there to tell you watch out for my next move and be ready when I tell you when to act. Be open and ready like a feather and let the universe drags you wherever you are suppose to go, you will never know when and how you are going to be directed to what you desire. Be aware and stop running around in book stores for the book, it will be handed to you by the last person you could think of, you just have to be there to receive it. Hold on to that black cashmere glove, and wait for the other one to fall in to your lap. 

Our life is a basket made of Serendipity, a fortunate designed "accident". 

Love

Danubelle

Signed, Sealed, Delivered.

Have you ever had the fear of going back to the town you use to live, the town that at some point you made great memories in?

I recently decided to finally do it. For years the fear of how would I feel if I go back had kept me from doing it, or at least that is what I thought it was…Until I finally made it last weekend. 

The town I lived most of my life in this country, with my Ex. The town we built a life together and enjoyed our good years. I was expecting to start getting panic attacks, and regret what I had done, and feel bad for the good times I had there, and I would want to get those times back,or worse yet; I would want to leave right away because it would be too painful to see all those beautiful places…

And to my pleasant surprise again, universe showed me I was wrong;

The joy of seeing my dear friends, the ones that were there for me in those transition times, made me greet the town with open arms. 

Every inch of the city was smiling at me saying welcome back dear. I visited our first apartment, and our last, our old neighbourhood, the lake I use to sit by and contemplate on my life, the canal I rode my bike by everyday, the grass I read my books on every weekend… Not a glimpse of panic or sadness were there. They just brought a smile to my face and told me, welcome back. So I couldn't help but wonder why.

As I was going down the memory lane with my old friends I realized that it was the peace I had with it. It was not painful because I had made peace with it. There was no unfinished business, no hatred, no grudge,… No regret. Even missing those times did not make me feel guilty. 

I always thought it all depends if you are happy about your present life, or if you have everything you want right now. And this taught me differently. 

It all came down to being at peace with the past. I had let it go. I loved going back, I smiled every time I remembered something, and told myself; we had a great time here… And we moved on. Smiling at it and knowing it had an expiry date, showed I had successfully closed that chapter. I had completed the assignment and handed in my paper and now was looking at it and enjoying the fun times of it, and had learned from the sad times. There was nothing left to do, but to kiss it goodbye and to be happy it became a full circle. 

So, if you want to know if you have something left in the past,  if there is something for you to do there, and finish something undone, visit it. Face that fear of yours and go back. Open the album and look at the pictures, open the journal and start reading, see how you feel about it. Do you feel pain in your chest? Do you feel a panic attach slowly entering? Do you feel hatred, anger, grudge, or revenge? If you do, you have unfinished business my dear. And until you are able to look at that picture album and smile and be grateful for the experience and kiss it goodbye, you have not moved on from it. 

Every chapter of your life has to be signed, sealed and delivered to the universe with your heart and big smile. If you can not deliver, you are still on your last assignment, finish it, kiss it goodbye and drop it in the box. Until you can drive back on that street and enjoy it, you still have an envelope open left in your bottom drawer.

I went, revisited, received my confirmation, smiled and let it go. Feeling as universe tapped me on the shoulder and said congratulations, and now on to the next. 

Sign, seal and deliver, those open enveloped still have something to tell you. 

Love 

Danubelle

Is this my Apple Tree?

Is it always easy to forgive another? When we know better, we do better. Remember this quote from Maya Angelo? For me this is the answer to our forgiveness. 

 Every time someone does some harm to me, or I get hurt by what they do, I start the process of forgiving them to be able to move on. I know, that feeling of resentment and hatred, that grudge might hold me hostage for years and decades. It is sometimes quite hard to do that I know, but at the end of the day I say to myself all I need to remember is;

Every person has their own life lessons to learn and their own demons to deal with. It is not my responsibility to teach them that or take it personally. I could help them out and if they ask for help I will do what I can do, but that is a different matter. The best I can do for them is to forgive them and let them go. I don't have to like them, or talk to them, they don't even have to know that I have forgiven them, I just have to separate what they did from their true self and know that this is their ego and not the real self, since our real selves come from one source. 

The fact is as humans, we do what we know, this is how far we have come. We all have been conditioned differently in our life circumstances, family environments, up bringings, the personalities we've been given as tools... And as we go through life, we learn new things, we conquer new battles, we reach different levels, and add to our knowledge of self, and our life and the true reality of our beings, we slip, we fall, we get back up, we get knocked down, we take a different path, we hurt others by our choices, we hurt ourselves by our choices,... Why do we do it?

We are learning, we are trying, had we known it is wrong and we are hurting ourselves by hurting others, would we have done it? . 

Think of it this way, maybe we are here on this planet and in the human bodies because Adam and Eve chose the path of ego and picked those apples. We are learning how not to pick that apple when we are not suppose to and if we do, The love will give us another chance, and another chance, and another chance,… until when? until we learn. 

So every soul in this universe is dealing with their own apple tree at this moment, and our apple tree right now might be that we have to be able to forgive another soul, for picking that apple. And next time when we see an apple tree we will stop to wonder.. 

So what this brings us to? 

When we know better, we do better. Next time you are about to judge another soul, remember; This might be your apple tree.

Thank You Maya

Love 

Danubelle 

Good Morning Ego!!

Have you ever had this pattern in your life, waking up in the morning and all the mind work, spiritual work and meditation you did the day before has gone out the door?

I have noticed lately that right the second I open my eyes, everything seems so clear, and feels like a harsh reality wakes you up by pouring cold water on your face. I have had most of my crazy messages, impulsive behaviour and panic attacks along with crying, etc. right after I have woken up.  

I never thought about it on a second level. I use to think; well  the reason I feel this way is because this is the reality, and i should be mad at him, or  I should be freaked out because I don't have a job, or I should be panicking because I don't have any money,... and as the day goes by I start to calm myself down, and do what I do to get things going and calm myself down. But these are on the days that I can control it, on the bad days, I have sent needy messages, angry messages,etc. And had to pay for my morning later on. 

So what is this about? I use to think it's my higher conciseness trying to wake me up, and because I just woke up fresh my ego hasn't kicked in and I am looking at things from fresh eye and see the harsh reality, and all the nice talks, and spiritual helps that I got yesterday was just a fake nice thing to make me feel better. 

But now I am not so sure, cause if most of the egomaniac things I've done was the after math of the morning shock and never turned out good, maybe it's the other way around, maybe these are all the deep down fears and angers and insecurities that are ready to pop out first thing in the morning.

I am coming to a conclusion that these panicky thoughts and "harsh reality checks" that wake me up, are just my ego of having the highest strength right after I wake up, given the fact that my mind has been resting the whole night. 

Now that I know this, I have decided to make a rule of not doing anything radical and send no responses or have any reactions to others in the morning, until I know I have passed the danger zone and I can think clearly and tell that ego to go away.  

My only regret is those silly useless messages I have sent that had bad consequences. Or maybe they were meant to be sent I am not sure, but this makes me wonder;

Why do things feel so clear and harsh with no feelings in the morning if they are coming from my ego? Which one is real really?

So I am putting this in to test, observe what is happening, take a moment and look from far away and see what I feel about my thoughts, I think you can always tell by how you feel about your action from far that if it is coming from ego or your true self. Do I look silly? Am I judging myself with those thoughts? Am I looking to hurt someone or prove myself right with that message?  

Just one minute of holding your phone in front of you and looking at what you are doing might do the trick, one minute of observing your panicky thoughts will tell you; these are just thoughts, your ego has rested the whole night, gained its energy to have the biggest punch the second we let it enter the ring.  

So, all I can say is;  

Good Morning Ego, and have a nice day!! 

Love  

Danubelle

Billboards Or Diaries...

I have realized something over the time;

That I have to protect my desires and life purposes. When I keep it to myself and quiet, it gets protected from the negative energy around it.

Ever since I was 10 I knew that if I want to make something happen I don't want to tell anyone about it, until it is a reality. I thought it was just coming from a superstitious mind, but recently realized why that was; If others don't know, they won't feed you their negative energy and thoughts, haters won't participate in your ego feeds.

And another trick is not to think about. I know they have always said that you have to desire and then let it go. And now I know why; the less you contemplate on it, the less your ego wants to get involved, any of my desires that I have received and became a reality, were desires that just thought of one afternoon and then forgot about it. You focus on life and the present moment, and not let "thoughts" to participate in your purpose. Your purpose comes from above. So stop trying to explain it to yourself or anyone else. Protect your desires from your ego and others...

So as carrie brawshaw always started her notes with; I can't help but wonder: ​

Are billboards more effective or our diaries... Which one comes first? it is a no a brainer is it? Our desires and life purpose belong to our diaries, keep it there and sign off on it and put it in nightstand drawer. ​

Billboards will come to your help once you are ready to announce to the world what you have achieved and which page of your diary is ready to be published.​

So protect your desires, protect your purpose. Be quiet about it, if you don't tell others about it, they cant talk you out of it, a short thought for the day, try it and let me know what happens. 

Love

Danubelle

A spiritual Llie

Today I'm trying to clear why some lies fit in spiritual lies category and some don't. First lets describe a spiritual lie,  I have made up this category for lies as I realized their effects;

Have you ever got caught in a situation that wanted to look good, or not to lose face or wanted something so badly, and in the moment your mouth just opens and you tell it, you lie about something that in your mind it would be great if it happens? I have..

Telling your ex-boyfriend that you are getting married and are moving out of country (which is in fact no where near the truth), or you're moving to a town you love soon ( which is no where close to happening)... And after you forget about the lie, or just a while later, you open up your eyes and here you are; getting married and moving out of country, moving to a town you love, etc.

I call these lies spiritual lies, the lies that you tell because it comes from your subconscious mind all of a sudden, and it becomes true in universe's mysterious ways..

It has happened to me quite a few times, lied because I loved those words to come out of my mouth, or just simply I needed it to be true, these are some of the reasons that those lies work I believe, but now I really want to get to the bottom of it and see why are some lies just simply lies and some lies turn into reality? Spiritual lies or White lies?

When you first get the urge to lie about something you don't have or is not happening, there is this tingling in your heart that this would have been awesome if it was true, then the energy might go two different ways, or three for that matter;

1. Then as the words are out in the air and hear yourself saying those words, a smile appears on your face and you feel the joy of that lie being a reality, and you feel how much you want it to be a reality, and you get caught in the lie you told and now in order to go with the flow you get dragged on to that direction, and subconsciously believe that this will happen because you believed yourself and the other persons reaction.. So there you go, you find yourself seeing your lie becoming a reality just by believing yourself :)

2. Second direction is a bit more complicated; when you hear yourself telling the lie, you feel disappointed that is not true, you are reminded that this is what the person's expectig from you and you don't have it, you feel the sadness in you and a sense of failure because you feel now you are going to have to disappear, because you don't want others to find out about your lie, and you end up telling another lie to cover the first lie and another lie.. Now why do you think this time was different? Why didn't you feel the joy as you said those words, why didn't you believe yourself, why didn't you let yourself get lost in that lie and why did you feel disappointed in yourself and why did you resist the words that you told? I think as I am typing this the answer is slowly appearing from behind the sentences.. anyways, the second direction took place because you told a white lie..

The truth is the spiritual lie comes from a deeper place, the first direction happened because you told your heart's desire, and as you spoke the words you realized how much you wanted it and the joy of having it fulfilled you, and of course as we all know, this is all you need to make it a reality...

Now the second direction happened because as you were speaking out loud, the words that you thought the other person needs to hear for you to get what you want, you felt that this is what "is suppose to be " but you didn't really want that, those words made you feel bad, hearing those words didn't make you feel good because you just wanted them to be true for the other person, not for you.. in other words, you "thought" you wanted those.. Your heart rejected it as you said it out loud, no joy comes from that and no desire... You do not want to feel it and you do not want to know how it would feel like to have that, why? Because you did not really in your subconcious mind wanted it. You might have told that lie for million other reasons; to fit in, to make a good impression, to make them like you, to get somewhere or something...

I think we became a little bit more clear about why some lies fit in spiritual lies and some don't.

there is a third reason there as well you might have guessed, what if you change your attitude towards all this lies? What if you try to believe it yourself and enjoy it ? Is it possible in any condition? I personalit believe you can only feel it if it is coming from deepest place and heart's desire and universe is backing it up, the feeling can not be lied or pushed, well that is for another day to discuss...

Try it, lie your desire and see... :)

Love danubelle

Listen to your heart...

I read something on Daily Love today and reminded me of this note I had written in my journal more than a month ago when I was going through some stuff in my mind;

 " is funny that I have known this fact for so long now( you should not have to force something if it is meant to be and if it really is your heart and souls desire) but I do it again and again, my control freak personality, the habit of taking everything in my ego's hand makes me want a certain outcome, obsessing over something that I THINK it's what is meant to be and what is my soul intended. And yet again once things get bad and I find myself getting tortured by my own ego, I get slapped by the universe saying wake up! I told you the day you met this guy quietly; he is not for you.. And you decided to go for it and give it a chance anyways, because you thought you might miss a good chance with a "great" guy..


 The clue is that if something pop in your way, and you hold your hand to grab it and it's not falling in your hand, and you have to run after it, means that it was just a trigger, it was not mean to be. But the issue here is for me still; I get confused that which one is my soul's whisper and which one is my obsession and my ego triggering me, which one is my outcome goal oriented capricorn personality and which one is the real thing that is coming from the above. I am currently in the middle of breaking up with a guy that I was debating to go out with for a month that had warning signs of past experiences, but my friends told me, that I have a big ego and you are going by your list and that is not a way to find love, he might be the one, I didn't know if my heart was telling me don't or it was my ego, and I couldn't stop thinking about him, finally I decided to do it, and as soon as I did, even though we connected perfectly at first, right the day after some crazy things happened that ruined everything, I wont go to details, but ever since then I feel like I have to prove myself to him and I have been trying and trying to feel good about it, but I couldn't, I still didn't know if my ego is standing in my way, and wanting things that is not suppose to want and let things go with the flow(since i was being called"demanding" all the time by hi), or is it the universe telling me that you should have listened to your heart and trust me, let it go...Finally I am at the stage that my soul is tired and I don't have anymore energy to try to make things good and stop feeling there is something missing and don't "want" too much from him... And as I was thinking this, he told me he is going to a long trip out of country for work.. Universe was speaking and helping me.. 

This is what happens, when you do something you were meant to do for your soul, universe backs you up..Of course since then I've been going back and forth cause the door is still open as he is away, but I know in my heart this has served its purpose, and fear of not feeling that way again is trying hard to hold on to what it has right now..Thank you guys for reminding me today, a heart needs a reminder everyday how important it is..."

Now those days are long gone, and after taking trips and refreshing myself and snapping out of that state I can look back and laugh at myself... I have moved on and pretty grateful that I didn't continue on that path, but one lesson did stay with me from that and has been clearing my mind ever since; 
Listen to your heart, it's always talking to you, and it's always right, at the end of the day that is the one that hold the key to your joy and happiness, so listen to it, it's all inside you..

Love,
Danubelle

Woman's Worth

 I am not sure if it is a woman's day in every house or every relationship today, but I wish it was.

After your heart gets broken by a man, by a strong man that you felt worth opening your heart to after a long time, if a whole world tells you and reminds you of your worth, all you see is some foggy pictures on the side of your sight, and you see a man in the middle that is not looking at you... That is when you know you have lost your worth..

A woman's worth is no different than a man's worth, other than the fact that a man's worth is known by a man himself.. You can not expect a man to know your worth if you haven't yourself. 

A women's worth is not to be known by weather or not she sleeps with a guy too soon, or she gives her heart to him to soon, or how much work she has done for others or how many children she has raised or how successful she has been in a man's world...  A woman's worth is known when she accepts herself for who she is and she stands up for who she is... A woman's worth is known only when a woman knows her worth...

Be a woman and know that men are only stronger because they think they are... Be strong and you will see they will forget that you are a woman, only to be reminded by their ego...

A mirror only shows what is in front of it, respect the one you see, because that is the one that was given for you to use as your power.. 

Free Will

I was listening to Eckhart Tolle today talking about Free will. I've had this question in my mind since I was 9 I think. I can actually remember in my religion class( yes we did have such a class in our school !!) I drove my teacher crazy; she kept talking about how GOD knows everything that happens and will happen and will not happen and at the same time she would say: we are responsible for our actions.

So I kept asking her, if he knows what is going to happen it means I don't have any power in what is going to happen! How would he know if I haven't made my decision yet! And she never had an answer of course :)

What do you think? I've had this question since then, up until now in the back of my mind, and without realising it I was getting closer and closer to the answer. Today I had an A-ha moment when Eckhart was talking and that having the Free Will is in our hand; if you are present and act from  consciousness, and act as a flute for universe(which is term a poet used name Hafiz) you do have Free Will, since YOU are THE CONSCIENCES. But if you act from ego and non presence, in other words from your mind, you are losing that free will since you are not acting conscious. Does that make sense?

I should explain this a lot more clear and more simple once I put it in practice. It makes me feel very happy  that finally I solved my 3rd grade problem. I should again and again thank Eckhart for his once again liberating words...

Anyways, I'm doing OK these days, keeping busy with my final projects, 2 more weeks left on this term. I'm enjoying it actually. I think I'm getting closer and closer to who I am if I don't lose myself in outside world again, it is very challenging I have to say. And whenever I wake up from it and come back to myself, I realise I've been doing things other people's way and not my way.

When you look around and watch others, you can see that most people's problems are because they are losing themselves in the world, that's why they don't have true free will. Of course they can lift up their arms if they decide to(for most people ) but can they find solutions to their problems? This is another A-ha moment I had couple of weeks ago that I forgot to mention; Problems acquire  not because we don't have free will and they are out of our control; our consciousness creates those problems because it want us to realise we need to change something or to realise something.

If you try to fix a problem by pushing it, or work against it, you will create another problem, haven't you noticed ? I have!

Problems are our higher consciousness poking us small or big to make us notice we need to change direction or choose a different solution. So I realised what I can do is to listen to the problem, see what is telling me, and go with it... Isn't that liberating? I'm using this word a lot today, sounds cool today :)

I'm going to practise this free will and see which direction is going to take me. I was thinking the other day about the man I fell in love with in the past, which he never loved me back, or at least I don't think he did, since I moved here and never heard from him again. I miss him every now and then, and just choose to think about him and it always makes me feel better just to think about him.

Anyways, not getting off track, I was thinking why that didn't happen, and realised did I really wanted it to happen? or did I just wanted to love someone without going further? I suddenly realised, I still want to know who I am and what I'm doing in this place, and if I trust the higher consciousness which is in me, I should know, I didn't want to be with anyone because I needed to be with myself first.

So my conclusion was I chose this because this was deep down what I wanted, I wanted to love a man because I had never loved before and I wanted to know how it feels like, but I didn't want to be someone else's love. I don't think I'm ready to practice my freedom and being someones love at the same time yet. My sense of Free Will is pretty new and someone else's will my effect it.

If you love someone and you don't need them to love you back it gives you the freedom in love you never thought you could have in loving another human being.

A thought for today to practice :)

Have a great weekend

Danubelle

June 04,2010

Expecting What You Want

Well, I know that I had promised to write as I go through the journey but I think you can guess why I haven't;

        I have been busy making it !! As I said I will show you how you can get through the journey with absolutely nothing. In the past few months I have managed to get a student loan, get help from my parents, move to Vancouver, find a place, start a school and here I am now, what I had in mind 2 years ago but afraid to do it because I didn't think I could!
       Of course, as you may expect it hasn't been that short and easy the whole journey...

As I arrived in Vancouver I felt so happy and I could not believe I was here, but there was this fear, fear of everything going wrong. I had shipped my stuff and car and was waiting for them to arrive. I kept thinking what would be the worst case scenario and what would be the bad thing happening here. What do you think happened?

         My belongings arrived 2 weeks later than I wanted, cost a lot more than I thought, I had to spend so much money to fix my car after it arrived, etc.. I can't tell you how many times I burst into tears as I heard the bad news about one of the things along my process of settling here in my " dream city". As all these were happening, I hated my apartment, my car was not working, felt alone and scared..

So I started to realize; I have been nothing but an ungrateful spoiled brat since I've arrived. I was expecting perfection in my journey and I was mad at everything and everyone, and the enormous amount of fear deep inside was expecting the worst. In another word, I wanted the perfect condition, but I was expecting the worst!

      As I passed the obsticles of the new city and slowly got used to the imperfections in my plans, I started to feel more and more relaxed and the fear started to go away. And sure enough things started to get calmer and better as I felt better  I did realize how much I was living in the past and in fear ,and trying to hold on to what I had in Toronto

... I was walking by the beach, which I have to say by the way( I can't believe I still haven't mentioned anything about this yet,it needs a whole another topic) this city is one of the most beautiful cities I've ever been to, anyways suddenly I felt; why haven't I been able to enjoy this spectacular view, and that was when I realized I'm not here, I've been living in the past, I'm not present, I've been living in fear of losing the past. So in that moment I started to let go of the past, Toronto, the people I left behind there, and the things I left behind or missed. I started to see the ocean, the mountains and suddenly felt; wow I live in Vancouver, I live here, I'm happy.

       That was the beginning of my "living" here I think. As I left the beach I could feel the shift in me. I had gotten a job with great pay, but I was just not feeling lucky. I went to work the next day, started to search online at work for a new place since I hated the place I lived at. Far from the beach and good areas and noisy.

     I don't know if I have mentioned before but I just always wanted to live by the beach. As I opened the website to look for adds, my coworker saw it and said if you are looking for a place my roommate is moving out! We started talking and I realized how much we have in common, we talked and talked and had such good time. So I moved to my new place, guess where? by the beach! With full length windows that I had written in my notebook that I wanted. I still can not believe how easy I got these things.

After I moved in I realized, what you expect from the universe you will get. If you expect problems, challenges I should say, you will get it. And when you expect a house by the beach with full windows, as long as you don't want it with negative energy, universe will give it to you as fast as you can write it on a paper.

Did I mention the day that I worked with my coworker was not my regular shift and I never worked with her again? universe does work in amazing ways.

I haven't said anything about my challenges right now yet, which I will on another night, but this had showed me, I just need to expect what I want with no negative energy, and it will be mine :)

A thought for tonight! Just write it down, see what happens :)

Have a good night.

Nov 09, 2010

Life Drawing

I was drawing today and started to think about my life . This happens to me every time I draw. It gives me a sense of freedom. I couldn't draw as I wanted whenever I got scared that I might make a mistake. I started to pay attention to my feelings and my drawing. I realized something; I draw so much better whenever I feel I'm ok and
I don't care what is going to happen. My lines are straight, no shakiness in my hand and I just rest the pen on the paper like it belongs, instead of fear of the next moment and the next dot not being in the same line as the one before. Do you see the meaning?

I realized; Life is like drawing; it doesn't matter how good or bad you are in it, it will turn out great if you feel it's going to turn out ok. Just like drawing, I realized everyone can draw. I can draw like an artist whenever I put the pen down with no fear and with the sense of strength. It doesn't depend on my skills...

It all depends on my heart. I remember my teacher told us last week; " don't be scared to use your pen, and don't be scared to make mistakes, you can fix it with the pen, you don't need to erase it! The outcome will be perfect!

Life will be a straight line if you learn to let the pen go on the paper and let go of fear.. And it will be broken and shaky if you try to control it and be scared of the next dot on your way..

Let your heart draw the line, you will have a beautiful painting in the end.

Good night

Danubelle

Nov 15,2010

Everything Is Perfect

           I know, it has been a while since I've written, but don't  you think this makes it more special? I suppose it doesn't need to be that special! Who am I Maya Angelo?

          I had one of those great Sundays today, the ones that you always expect to have; cook, clean, do your assignments, do laundry watch a bit of hockey, sort out your papers, relax.. I don't know if to others this sounds like a boring Sunday or not, but to me a stress free day is perfect. So tonight after all that, I was thinking perfect day doesn't include anything specific  it just means you being OK with the now. It does sounds cliche doesn't it?

         Something funny happened today that made me realize how far I've become. Lately I've been feeling that everything's great other than my social life. I've been wondering when am I going to meet a guy whom I feel I could enjoy my time with and spend time with. So today my roommate tried to set me up with his friend, without any notice! Can you imagine meeting a guy for a first time in your pajamas? :)
        Anyways, the main point actually is that I was shocked that he thought I would like such a person, I won't go through the details about why I thought he's not good for me but lets just say today I had an A-ha moment; that I don't need to be with anyone.

        I know I have probably said that before and lots of people say it as well, but to actually feeling it, it's a different matter. I thought; why would I feel bad about this guy not being good enough for me? I don't have to be with anyone if I don't meet the guy I like! Simple! This single sentence actually makes things a lot easier in your mind. Because As a women half of your day is taken by looking and behaving how guys want you too. I could say it was liberating! Suddenly I felt, oh I could just relax now!

         This is called things being perfect! Just perfect! And it still does not include being a millioner, or having the perfect guy, or the check list I've had in my mind( which is rappidly changing I must say, I've been having so many clarifications when I'm mediatitng which I will get into detail of it in another day) . Perfect means OK, OK with what is going on right now, with what you have right now and how you feel right now. This would be the moment you will feel you are living.

       Think about it, a perfect night, what would it look like? It does not need any of the things in that check list does it?

Good Night

May 05,2011

Soul Cut And Your Book Shelf

Have you ever thought what happens when you break up with someone or cut someone out of your life?

Why does it feel unnatural? Why does it hurt? Why do you feel that you are going against nature...

When you are introduced to a new soul, and a being enters your life, the effect of their energy and soul, the connection of their soul to yours gets created. The universe brings that soul to your circle, and merges their energy with yours, until you receive what you were suppose to...

But that is the time when the connection and bond between the two has been created forever. Your soul expands to the exertions of the others.. 

And so when a time comes that a soul leaves your circle, the bond breaks, the cutting emerges from either side, it feels as going against heart's desire, universe's natural evolution, you're souls maturity.. 

This is the thing;

The fact is, the soul that has entered your life, your circle and your energy, will never leave again, it only takes a spot in the back audience and lets the effect of it work in time. Leaving someone behind, or breaking up with someone, does not mean their soul is out of your life forever, does not mean that you have no connection any longer,..

It means that they have done their job and now they are going to take a back seat and let the next act take the front stage..

You will never be free of their energy, or in loss of their energy, because the connection has been created... You will let their energy float into the universe and keep the strings attached for your advancement... 

So next time you are breaking up with someone remember; they will always be in your life, they have just taken a back seat, use their energy to go forward..

This is why when you fall in love and your heart gets broken, you start to wonder; where does that love go? 

The love is always there, it's just going to be delivered in a different package...

The souls come, but they never leave...Karma is the energy that those souls carry, either good or bad, they are always there in the back seat... Do not be hurt, just wait for another package from universe to advance you to your next level..

A soul can not be cut, but to be let orbit a little bit further, do not be hurt, you just added a new book to your bookshelf..

Brushing your teeth, egoless...

I am starting a blog here, since I realized my thoughts are better said out loud than kept inside, and go around circles, until they come out like a crazy FB status...

..I have always thought you are a better adviser to others than yourself, maybe because your ego only possesses your own self and doesn't let you look at yourself as easily as looking at others. Ego could and would only protect itself. So if there is nothing in it for ego, it will step aside and let your real self and your intuition take over..

Ego, if only we could easily distinguish our ego from our true self. It can be our biggest enemy, but also our best tool.. We all know how to use our ego to work for us, but not many of us know how to stop it from hurting us.. 

I have been reading, practicing, thinking, meditating, and I have come a long way since few years ago when I was first introduced to my false self. But the fact is, being present is not something you learn and you just have it forever, it is the same as eating, breathing, brushing your teeth maybe; first you have to remember to be present, force yourself to be present everyday, and after a while becomes a routine, if we are strong enough to stick to it. 

Now why being present? Being present in the moment means just absorbing what is around you, feel the moment instead of thinking about the past, because the fact is; the past and the future are nothing but a thought right now, and if you're not thinking about them, the ego is resting, so there you go; If you want your ego to leave you alone, just be in the moment.. 

It's that simple, just like brushing your teeth